So lets start first with the language we are using when we talk about this stuff!. Wouldnt the no contact period make it easier for him to be with her?. One of the most asked questions I get from coaching clients is to explain the reasoning behind a man who doesnt contact you during the no contact period. He makes a clean break from you and you make a clean break from him. Oh, it happens. If you think I slacked off when writing this then just let me know in the comments and I will be sure to correct the problems that you see. Im just wondering whether I should give up and never contact him again. Yes, there is a possibility that your ex could find a new girl, but she will most likely be a rebound. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Since that day, for about 2 months, any little thing I did or say ticked him off. You will start to feel better the more Holy Trinity work you do. Then there was a lot of begging and pleading after which I got frustrated and told him Im dead to him. Hello! He may have broke it off due to another girl he may have met . Im just now starting the no contact rule. Much of this post will also focus on solutions. Example . Ok..no reason to panic. This is especially true when it comes to men who are extremely stubborn. Do I continue no contact for 45 days? Getting the chemistry right between two people is no easy task. So lets say that after all of your efforts, nothing happens. Then you are going to be extremely disappointed and depressed if stuff like this doesnt happen at all. Hi I initiated no contact and he messaged me after 2 weeks. I dont know if he will resolve his issues, and give us a real shot at a committed relationship. That would be ridiculous, right. We have been best friends since high school and during that time, we began dating and it was wonderful. Utilizing No Contact seldom leads to your guy moving on faster. For some reason every time I think of this example I think of your ex boyfriend just sitting in a dark room chanting: Ill show her Ill show her Ill show her.. I unfriended him on social media but no from friends that he hardly posts anything, even though he was very active before. I tried to reconcile with no avail. It became more fight then friends with us. I was unsure of what I wanted in regards to the future. My ex left me for grass is greener and I am in day 23 of no contact. Work was busy etc. So lets dive back into the No Contact world. If he did reach out to you to ask about this mystery guy he thinks you are seeing, then yes, you should set the record straight, particularly if you are fairly far along in the no contact period. Give him a chance to reflect on things. Him: damn I really fucked up. Unfortunately, most women dont realize that fact. Is he hating me more? This website has a lot of information about the no contact rule since it is an essential stepping stone to getting your ex boyfriend back. I should know, because I read and answer so many of the comments that you leave on the website. How Does The Dumper Feel After A Month Of No Contact? I was gonna yell at him for acting so mean and disresful he never answered and I wasnt gonna blow up his phone. I didnt reply. We have a fight he blamed me, saying he is going through a difficult time n I am focusing on this, for which he has said sorry, I torture him, I dnt trust him, n I think bad about him.. Perhaps he just doesnt want a relationship with me. He was very angry at this suggestion and us angry when I try to limit or schedule the borrowing. Hi Dianna, on the off chance they appear at your door. And the more that chemical cocktail in his brain starts churning with all the wrong hormones, that favors you. I have promised myself not to look at his things. Sample Page; ; While I know it is a lot to read if you did take the plunge and read through it all you will have noticed that the overall ex recovery process hinges on YOU making the first move (which I plan on going into much greater detail later.). That way he will keep comparing you to the new girl and miss you more. Things have changed since the breakup. He went on and off with me while he was not getting visa. Later I posted a pic of mine to which he respond, looking cute n happy, good stay happy, day after that, I posted a pic with a dog, he reacted, did you buy this dog. So what can you do to help him keep you top of mind and back of mind. No "accidental" meetings. So, the scene I have just painted above is pretty simple. Would you rather him do it? I am confused whether i should move on or wait for him. I found out his video calls to his ex( for whole he left me) again fight, blaming me for not understanding the importance of time, and work. So what can you do to keep that relationship spark alive? Here is what a failing attitude looks like: I am so depressed he hasnt called me my life revolves around him blah, blah, blah.. I have been reading many articles on the No Contact Rule and I just do not know if it is the right thing to do for me and my situation so I was hoping to get some advice.. One month ago, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. In fact, with some guys, thoughts of you may become a little obsessive. This candlelit dinner had seemed to be to signal things were on the upswing. This little tug to regain his freedom will likely start first in his unconscious mind, but soon it will work its way to his conscious thinking. Well, just because a man is stubborn and wont contact you doesnt mean that he doesnt miss you it just means what we all already know, hes an idiot :p . If he flips out because of a group picture or something similar, then he needs to learn to chill out. Avoid reacting to what you think he is doing. hi Lily, you broke NC once you answered his text, you need to go 30 days SOLID no speaking with your ex to complete a successful NC and in that time you work on yourself. One of the most overlooked factors when it comes to the no contact rule is how the actual breakup will affect your boyfriend. You are always going to have to be the one to take the first step and press the action when it comes to communicating. Well, I am not so sure about him always keeping you top of mind. I said u r not my friend either, he said I dont know about friendship but is remaining are still there, I said nothing is left, u made it clear to me. However, considering this guy said he does not want to marry you, which is something you want for yourself one day, one reason to move on. Later he said, when I call u my friend no physical relationship from now. I got a positive reply saying hes really missed talking over the last few days and would really like to talk soon. He broke up 3 weeks ago. This may spark an interesting debate though because if an ex boyfriend is using his own silence to hurt you does it mean that he would ever consider a reconciliation? Check out this article: The Grass is Greener Syndrome for Ex boyfriends to understand more about the Grass is greener case. I dont know he is missing me or not. Hes being selfish and to be honest I think you deserve better than someone whos that shallow to speak like that about children. Maybe is is simply afraid to reach out. So, its not likely that he will somehow just quickly stumble upon the person that he can lead a happily ever after life with. So, let him work through his own internalizing and stay in no contact. Then when i met him to hear him out, he was finally ready to be back with me the way we were. He is in incest since teenage, I found out about it, he promised several time to stop it but nope. So I get all kinds of comments like this! While I would tend to agree with that you are in a very unique situation here in that we are talking about your ex boyfriend. You see, a large portion of women who visit this site are under the impression that all they have to do to get their ex back is the no contact rule. He never would respond . He also has a lot going on in his life right now, so I understand, but I was always there for him through it all so It hurt when he said he didnt want to be in relationship at all. He likely was not thinking that you would move on so easily. Should I answer??? I call this psyche play. While I am certainly annoyed to get responses like that I do have to take some of the responsibility. Its purpose is to help you get yourself back. It will help keep your mind off of sad times. Shall I give up or can I tell him I am here? But dont forget, by implementing the No Contact Rule, you are showing some personal power. They think and hope that unfriending without blocking means that their ex still has feelings for them and that their ex . Go to a bookstore and hang out. The answer is quite simply yes. The more we try to hold onto things, the easier it is to lose our grip on them. You can post some images of you participating and being involved in these activities on your Facebook account. We had few texts in the first two week, then 10 days ago I went silent. Stage 2 of No Contact for Dumper: Curiosity. Lets say you havent texted or responded to anything and youre just ignoring him and now hes super angry because of it. He messaged me (1 time) 7days after the NC started, I responded him 4 days after message. Do you remember what I said at the beginning of this section? So based on that, 21, 30, or even 45 days of No Contact is usually too soon a period for him to move on. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship, My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup. He has to respect your decision. I do not know what to do. But my job is to help you with easing the fears and anxieties. We are currently on day 4 of NC and it is killing me. I am going to make this really simple for you. Your website is my bible. Finally after days of him just not answering I tried no contact . What does it mean if your ex boyfriend doesnt contact you during the no contact period? We laughed a lot, had lots of fun together and didnt really argue. The grass is greener syndrome can run deep in the minds of a lot of ex boyfriends. Time will tell how he really feels about things. The greater the love the greater the loss. What should you do if your ex does not respond to your first contact message? Dont forgetwhen we are in relationships, a lot of close ties are achieved. Hi, In such a situation, youre not being rude because (once again) youve broken up. In a weird sort of way, that helps build attraction. And I am talking about you. Your ex might have unfriended you on social media, but there could be a range of reasons why they haven't blocked you. He said I deserve better and cannot wait. Essentially what I am going to be doing here is bridging the gap between you and your ex boyfriend. Am I a joke to you? Hi! However, his pride is telling him not to do it. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? They will sit around and say, Hes going to have to text ME first if he wants a date with me.. He got defensive and said hed never marry again. Ok.sorry! Hi Ashley, yes NC is the right thing to do in our siutation. How Do You Know If Your Ex Is Happy With Someone Else? It will help your personal development. I know he was getting annoyed he said he loves me but cant ever be with me . I caught my boyfriend with his best friend girlfriend having sex and she has 2 kids for her boyfriend but I still love my boyfriend and I want him back I just started the no contact rule I actually blocked his line 3 days ago which I intend unblocking for 30 days but I can get a notification if he tries reaching my line. This is the 1st time we havent spoken. We both spent a very good time together. Find a friend that can do a little subtle setting the record straight dialogue with your ex. And suddenly one day he said to me that he dont want to be together anymore. Lets walk down the path many women often take. But so does your ex boyfriend. He talked about maybe how things annoyed him that he hasnt spoke of but wouldnt tell me what they were. So, do yourself a favor and dont turn into that on me. Going no contact is particularly useful after a relationship's breakup, especially if you were the one who was dumped or betrayed. What else have I done now? N lastly I said, u wanted to leave me, u left me, I am out now. Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. I just want to reinforce that it is important to do everything slowly. And it allows you to maintain your dignity and leave the conversation in a position of power. Hi, Comment ok I get Im doing it and I am still on hell. Very good. She is on her last semester of Nursing School and I am working in the town we went to school. About 2 weeks later, he told me he did not want to be in a relationship with anyone for awhile. We were in relation for 2 years. I have already defined what the no contact rule is in the opening paragraph of this guide but I havent really talked about what the purpose of it is. It is nightmarish enough just to deal with this huge change this hole in your life. They literally asked me what I thought and when I told them that I thought it would be ok they decided against it because of that sense of entitlement. You are right Debra. That is good for your girl! Why? No contact via social media. If it was, then it tells you what you really need to know about the guy. If you think that no contact is guaranteed to: Then I have some really bad news for you. So that means you have to be active in social media. He may think a lot of things, including that you have possibly moved on. On 18 March we called over phone as he wanted to know when I am going to office, to end the deed and sell other office stuff, or to decide to will I do further, as he has to leave cause of his financial conditions. You go in thinking that he is a shoe in to message you throughout the period but it doesnt happen at all. You wont leave him wondering what youve been up to. Our research shows he is more likely to miss you, than to just forget you forever. 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